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evanpenn's Recent Activity
All Europeans are related if you go back just 1,000 years, scientists say
Tue May 7, 2013
I emphatically reject your implication that I am related in any way to Paris Hilton. Two creatures crawled out of the sea and onto land a billion years ago. One gave rise to the above-mentioned individual and the other to me. That is what I choose to believe. Thank you.
Aaargh! Ladies of English town misunderstand intent of pirate night
Thu May 2, 2013
Maybe this is how these ladies normally dress.
North Korea warns foreigners to leave South in advance of 'merciless, sacred, all-out war'
Tue Apr 9, 2013
Who was it who advised "speak softly and carry a big stick"? Roosevelt? Well, mister pudgy screams at the top of his lungs and carries a toothpick.
Pope Francis: Argentina's Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio is new Catholic leader
Wed Mar 13, 2013
If Sasha Baren Cohen walks out on that balcony I'm gonna piss my pants.
Will the cardinals go off the European grid to choose a new pope?
Sat Mar 9, 2013
Nobody cares who will be the next Prince Of Pedophiles Everywhere. We only care about who will be the last one. The church is pure evil...always has been. This ain't rocket science folks.
Anchor called too fat for TV is now international role model
Fri Dec 28, 2012
I was bullied from kindergarten to 9th grade. When I was in kindergarten I was chased around the schoolyard by a group of about 10 boys every morning before class. School was an unholy terror for me. It is a minor miracle that I never offed myself as a result in the ensuing years, such was my level …
Man recovers lost photos of family's beloved 'nana'
Thu Dec 27, 2012
With all due respect to the people in this article, this is not news-worthy. It barely qualifies as an anecdote.
Australia radio station owner calls death of British nurse who took royal prank call 'truly tragic'
Sun Dec 9, 2012
Only in cases of extreme long-term emotional and/or physical abuse can one party be blamed in the suicidal death of another party.
Men who have cancer more likely to die from it, study finds
Thu Dec 6, 2012
"Men who have cancer more likely to die from it" would be just a dumb headline. Adding "study finds" at the end makes it one of the all-time stupidest headlines, a true classic.
Red state, blue state divide reflected in grim statistic: fatal traffic accidents
Tue Nov 20, 2012
If you listed the states by IQ, from lowest to highest, the order would be roughly the same...and therein lies your answer.
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